I appreciate that some people may require variety in the form of extramarital affairs or spouse swapping, but I could not...
Although I appreciate that some people may require variety in the form of extramarital affairs or spouse swapping to keep their marriage alive, these are things I could not accept. If my husband wanted variety, then I would prefer not to know about it officially, although I feel sure I would 'sense' it somehow.
No doubt this will prove that I am possessive and selfish, but if my husband was willing to share me, and have me share him, with others, this would be absolute rejection for me.
The easiest way to combat marital boredom is, to my mind, by taking on outside relationships. It isn’t very difficult for a man or a woman to find temporary excitement elsewhere. It is much harder to maintain excitement within one’s marriage, and still try to raise children, keep house and keep oneself attractive and interesting.
It is very easy, and very tempting sometimes when one is inundated with all the 1001 things that belong to wife- and mother-hood, to lose sight of the fact that one is a woman. It takes extra time – and time which is sometimes at a premium – not to just 'let go'.
But when a woman knows that she can still 'turn on' and be 'turned on' by her husband – that he enjoys the living and loving that make up their marriage, and while she knows that he chose her and is content with her, she is able to put everything of which she is capable into making him happy and showing him that he is still the greatest.
Marriage isn't only good sex…it’s also all the compromises and sacrifices that help two people live together. It's a wife making sure that her husband has clean shirts, and a good meal – dressing to attract him, spending time listening to him, encouraging him in his ambition and hopes, and never, never, taking him for granted.
It's a husband being kind, and showing, by his actions, that his wife is important to him beyond any temporary excitement another woman might offer. It’s knowing, after many years of living together, that one wouldn't want to be married to anyone else, and it's showing this, by innumerable 'acts of love' each partner does for the other. …Mrs. J.C.
From The FORUM Archives