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Same familiar story - love at first sight, unforgettable crush, perfect match, etc. But things do go wrong in a relationship. If you ever get jilted…


It is a common and familiar story - love at first sight, unforgettable crush, a perfect match, apple of your eyes, honey in your tea, wonderful relationship, and so on!

Oh! how you adore your partner with all your heart, and are ready to do anything just to please and make him or her happy. Every moment together is a wonderful dreamy experience that leaves you floating in cloud ten! Surely, this must be love!

But sometimes as the days, months and years roll-bye and the relationship grows older, you may discover that you no longer feel the same quantum of love and tenderness for your partner as you did at the earlier stages - a sure sign that you need to work hard on yourself to re-kindle the light of affection in your relationship.

However, if the situation goes beyond re-igniting the candle of love, and re-activating your affection for each other; and if separation is inevitable, then you must prepare yourself to quietly absorb the trauma of separation, so as to avoid common post-separation mistakes.

If you've been jilted; or your partner called it quits on you, here are six post separation mistakes you'll do well to avoid:


 Soliciting for Re-union
Do not beg for love or re-union. Apart from being a sign of weakness, begging for love and reunion also portrays you as being vulnerable and in need. And most times does not work. If your partner ever changes his or her mind and wants you back, he or she will surely make the first move, without you begging for it. That way you have a chance to redeem your dignity and if possible accept him or her back, on your own terms!

♥ Trying to Keep Communication Alive
Do not call, text, email or visit your Ex. It is a strategically wrong move to keep communicating with your Ex in an attempt to be friends again. It portrays you as desperate, week and lonely; and it is doubtful anything positive will come out of it. Such desperate attempts to get your Ex back will surely put a smile on his or her face, but earn you a blockage in return; especially if your attempts become irritating.

Understandably, you may feel angry and frustrated that your Ex is dating or marrying someone else (especially if you also know the one); but you must come to terms with the fact that your relationship with him or her is over, and as such, you just have to move on with your own life. Period.

♥ Trying to Suppress Your Emotions
You need not pretend, hide or suppress your emotions. Let go! Cry it out! You are human after all. Naturally you'll feel emotionally shattered and devastated. You may feel anger, hatred, fear, revenge, and so on. Whatever you feel, you need to quickly get over it. One sure remedy is to have a good cry, wipe your tears and then move on. Suppressing your emotions will only prolong your pain and grief.

♥ Hiding and Staying Alone
Don't disappear from circulation, hibernate or stay lonely simply because you have a broken relationship. You'll do well to maintain your normal lifestyle and social personality. You should still hang-out normally with your family, friends and colleagues.  Enjoy your normal parties, clubs, games and hobbies. Always maintain that confidence and spring in your swagger. Let everybody, including your Ex see that you are happy! All these will help you heal faster.

♥ Rushing Into Another Relationship
There is always the temptation and urge for you to try and prove (to yourself and your Ex) that you are still attractive, handsome, beautiful, acceptable, sociable, and so on. But don't let this desire make you rush into another premature relationship. Take your time, maintain your standards, stabilize your emotions, and chose your next move carefully and intelligently.

♥ Keeping the Gifts
What to do with the gifts from your Ex? If you want to quickly get your Ex out of your mind and life, then it is logical to get the gifts from him or her out of your sight. Out of sight, they say, is out of mind. Getting rid of all the gifts from your Ex will help you forget him or her faster, put the past behind you, heal your emotions, and move on with your life. But please do not get rid of the children, if any.

Use these simple tips to help you repair your broken heart with a mature and effective approach. Close that sour chapter of your life, but learn the lessons from it. Now look ahead into the future with a new and open heart; and with positive expectation that the One truly meant for you is right now walking straight into your life! Namaste!


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© Jay Onwukwe

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